John Stamos Was Rejected From Scientology After 'Strange' Audit With a 'Weird Little Man'

John Stamos was almost sucked into the world of Scientology.

In his new memoir, If You Would Have Told Me, the actor spilled that in the '80s, his acting teacher's assistant attempted to get him to join the controversial religion.

The Full House star, 60, shared that after leaving class one day, the assistant, named Mia, handed him a book "the size of a brick" and told him, "I think it will open your eyes to some amazing things." She then instructed him to meet her at the Scientology Celebrity Centre.

Stamos decided to look through the book, noting, "There’s a lot about control: controlling your reactionary mind, controlling energy, controlling space and controlling time."

Since the dad-of-one was somewhat interested, he met the assistant at the facility — though he was shocked to find that the building was "creepy as f---."

After going inside, he had a session with an "e-meter," a device that Mia called "an important religious artifact that monitors the psyche, mind, and spirit." The soap opera alum described the machine as something that reminded him of "the Wayback Machine from The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show deployed by the genius beagle, Mr. Peabody, and his adopted human boy, Sherman, to time travel through different dimensions."

"I’m handed two round things that look like cans," he recalled. "I put one to my ear and the other to my mouth and mimic talking into an old timey telephone: ‘Hello, there.’"

He said there was a "weird little man" on the other side that hit him with a serious of prompts: "He begins to question me about committing crimes, asks if I have negative thoughts about Scientology or L. Ron Hubbard and probes into some strange s-- inquiries."

The needle in the e-meter appeared to "jump," which he said made Mia look "disappointed."

"Apparently, I’m not Scientology material. Darn it," he quipped.

The Church of Scientology has been under scrutiny for years, as former members like Leah Remini filed a lawsuit and accused them of harassment, verbal abuse and more. They've denied the allegations.

Elsewhere in Stamos' tome, he dished on Full House, his low points in life and a few failed romances — including what led to the demise of his and Rebecca Romijn's marriage.

The Hollywood hunk explained that things began to unravel as the blonde beauty's star began to rise, though he acknowledged they had plenty of "ups and downs" before that.

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"We're trying new things and growing, but not together," he spilled, noting it became "harder to make time for each other, slow down, disconnect from the chaos of the world, and make eye contact again."

"She smiles at me a little less, doesn't look me in the eyes over dinner, takes phone calls in the other room," he recalled of the actress' behavior. "Betrayal starts as a sinking feeling in your stomach, grows into a suspicion that clouds your every thought, and by the time you find out the truth, it's uniquely horrible at first but also expected, like you've been waiting for something bad to happen."

"There's nothing more to say," Stamos concluded of their union. "There's a point of no return, and what felt like a phase is now her phasing me out for good."