Prince Harry Thought Princess Diana Would Return in 'Disguise' After She Died to 'Whisk' Him and Prince William Away: 'I Didn’t Believe She Was Gone'

Prince Harry thought Princess Diana was coming back for him.

The 42-year-old opened up about navigating the sudden death of his mother as a 12-year-old during an October 8 MasterClass on grief.

Diana passed away in a gruesome 1997 car crash, leaving behind Harry and his brother, Prince William. Following her death, Harry recalled being unable to cry and refusing to believe that his mother was truly gone.

"I believed that she was going to come back at some point," he explained. "I believe that she had created this exit to get away from all the things that were destroying her life and that she was going to reenter the fray in some disguise and then whisk me and my brother away."

Harry recalled attending a funeral with mourners who were in tears over Diana while he was numb to the entire process.

"It felt very, very strange for the hundreds of hands that we shook to be soaking wet with tears that they wiped away from their own faces," he reflected on her burial. "I almost felt guilty that I was unable to show the same emotion as these people who were crying for someone they’d never even met."

When he was finally able to cry, he found it difficult to accept that he would never see his mother again, even years after she passed.

"I cracked to the point of where I cried, and I remember thinking or feeling that it actually felt really good to cry," he reminisced. "Then years later, I was looking for proof because at the burial, I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t believe that she was gone."

Harry opened up about his grief during the session led by neuroscientist Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor for her Redefining Grief: Building Resilience Through Loss series, diving into how he learned to cope and accept what he had been through.

"If I could go back and have a moment with my younger self, it would be to give 12-year-old Harry a hug and tell him that everything’s going to be okay," he admitted.

His mother's death left him with an intense sense of "adrenaline" for decades, which prompted him to keep busy and even join the military to cope with his anxiety.

"For 15, 20 years, when I was being asked, ‘Are you okay?’ My response was, ‘I’m fine,’" he said. "It was numbness, emotional shutdown. Without knowing it, adrenaline was pushing me, was driving me."

"It was the driving force of what took me to joining the military at the age of 20," Harry later added. "It was the perfect distraction. I couldn’t really think about much else apart from the task at hand."

The prince revealed that he suffered panic attacks over royal engagements following the death of his mother.

"It was the fear of people seeing me looking disheveled and me not being able to explain to them in one short sentence what’s actually going on," he spilled. "I would feel like I’ve just been in a boxing match. There are some public engagements that still involve adrenaline. I’m not going to lie there, but it’s more appropriate adrenaline."

Now, Harry has learned more sustainable coping mechanisms and even finds himself inspired by his mother's legacy in his day-to-day life.

"Everything I do, everything I put my energy towards, I hope that my mother will be proud about it," the Duke of Sussex shared.