Ashley Judd Says She Still Feels the Trauma of Mom Naomi's Suicide

Ashley Judd got candid about dealing with the aftermath of her mother, Naomi Judd's suicide.

Nearly two years after the matriarch died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound at the age of 76, her youngest daughter, 55, sat down with Anderson Cooper for an episode of his "All There Is” podcast, to discuss how she's tried to heal after being the first person to find Naomi after she'd taken her own life.

"My mother’s death was traumatic and unexpected because it was death by suicide, and I found her,” Ashley explained during the Wednesday, January 10, episode. "And, so, it had this calamitous dynamic, my grief was in lockstep with trauma."

"I think that the death of a parent is something for which we, at least conceptually, have some kind of preparation. I also knew that she was walking with mental illness and that her brain hurt and that she was suffering," she continued.

The Helen actress went on to reveal the steps she's taken to heal herself from the horrific experience by using eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. But the memory of her mother's demise has continued to come up for her.

"I actually had a re-experience of the shock, which is the first stage of grief, a year after my mama died. You know, I would just be doing something, washing the dishes, writing on my second book, and this wave of shock would overcome me, as if I had just walked in the room again," she said.

Despite the heartache, Ashley has focused on her amazing memories with Naomi over the years despite her mom's continuous mental health battle.

"Invariably, she got up. No matter how sick she was,” she noted. “And she would light up. And she would come to the back door and open it. And she would exclaim, ‘There’s my darling, there’s my girl, there’s my baby!’ And that’s how I see my mom."

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Before Naomi's death, the country star was open about her struggles with depression.

"This [depression] lasted forever. I didn’t get off my couch for two years,” Naomi said during a December 2017 interview. “I was so depressed that I couldn’t move.”

"I wouldn’t even brush my teeth. I wouldn’t get out of my pjs,” she explained. “My husband and my girlfriends and [daughter] Ashley would come over and I would just go upstairs and lock the door to my bedroom. … You become immobilized.”