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Holly Madison Recounts 'Traumatic' First Sexual Encounter With Ex Hugh Hefner, 'Girls Next Door' Star Describes 'Emotional Impact' It Had On Her

holly madison recounts traumatic first sexual encounter with ex hugh hefner
Source: MEGA

Dec. 15 2021, Published 1:31 p.m. ET

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Holly Madison has revealed what it was really like being one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends.

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The reality television star, 41, opened up about her first sexual encounter with the late magazine publisher during an appearance on the Monday, December 13, episode of the Power: Hugh Hefner podcast.

“I was wasted,” Madison explained of the experience. “He was literally pushed on top of me. And after it happened, I was just mortified and embarrassed, and it had way more of an emotional impact on me than I thought it would.”

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The model — who dated Hefner from 2001 until 2008 — detailed how the two were out at a club with a group of other women prior to going back to the Playboy mansion where things began to get intimate.

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holly madison recounts traumatic first sexual encounter with ex hugh hefner
Source: MEGA

“I wasn’t necessarily expecting to have sex that night. I thought it would be more of a first date — even though, obviously, it’s not a very traditional first date,” Madison said. “I thought it would be more the type of thing where I saw what happened, saw what was going on. If I wasn’t comfortable with it, I wouldn’t have to do anything and I could make my decision on whether I wanted to come back for date No. 2 or not.”

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“I thought he was really smart, I really looked up to him, so I liked him, and it wasn’t that the idea of possibly having sex with him repelled me so much — I know that’s not relatable to a lot of people because they’re like, ‘Oh, he’s an old man, gross,'" the mother-of-two detailed of the Playboy editor-in-chief (who passed away in 2017).

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“It was more the group aspect that was really out of my comfort zone and just the feeling of ‘Wow, OK, that happened. Everybody knows it happened," Madison stated of the jarring experience. “I kind of all of a sudden felt like everybody was going to know about me, and I was horrified by it.”

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The former Girls Next Door cast member felt that after the sexual encounter it was time to ask Hefner to move into the famed adress —despite not exactly wanting to.

holly madison recounts traumatic first sexual encounter with ex hugh hefner
Source: MEGA
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“I felt like, ‘There’s no taking that back, so I might as well get what I came for,'” Madison continued. “I felt like by moving myself in and getting what I wanted from the situation, that was demanding respect in a way.”

“I felt like if I didn’t do that, I was just going to be haunted by this experience,” ex-Playmate explained.

Madison is also set to appear in the A&E docuseries Secrets of Playboy

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