'Liberated' Singer Lindsay Ell Says She's Finally Writing Music 'That Feels Like Me': 'I Couldn't Be More Proud of It'

Lindsay Ell is living her best life now that her new EP, Love Myself, was released on October 25.

First, the country star released "Story I Tell Myself" on Friday, October 4, bringing in a new chapter under her new label.

"The past couple of years have been a whole 180 of just how I've approached my creativity, how I approach my writing and my music. I think I was living for so long in a world where I felt like I had to confine to the rules of a format in order to be successful. That's no grounds for an artist or a songwriter to create and speak from a place of authenticity and to connect with people. Instead of focusing on myself, I was like, 'I'm just going to write music that feels like me,'" the 35-year-old exclusively tells OK!.

While writing this time around, Ell is more confident, as she's fully embracing who she is. "You feel a kind of freedom that you weren't able to access before," she says. "I got diagnosed with an eating disorder last year, and I have a song called 'Love Myself.' Maren Morris, who is so sweet, reached out to me and was like, 'You should write a song about this.' She was sending me songs about other artists who had written about their eating disorders. I ended up writing 'Love Myself' because I wanted to talk about that process of pure vulnerability in hopes it will connect with somebody who is going through the same thing."

While it's "hard" for the Canada native to be open about her past, she has gotten so much "joy" and "strength" from it. "I'm encouraged to be more and more vulnerable as the days go by. It gets harder, but the payoff is so much better," she shares.

This isn't the first time Ell has let it all out — in 2020, she released "Make You," which is about confronting and healing from the trauma of being raped as a teenager.

"I started my fund years ago, and it really started some of my fundraising efforts," she says, referring to The Make You Movement Fund. "I remember writing my song and having thousands of fans reach out and be like, 'Thank you for writing this song.' Music is a universal connector regardless of where you're from or what language you speak. To give someone hope and strength that they can get through whatever they're struggling with is so amazing, and it's what encourages me as a songwriter to write more about those things that have impacted my life and it can help a lot of other people."

Part of her story includes discussing her eating disorder. "I've lived most of my life trying to hold onto the control or thinking I had control over how things were going to go. For the past couple of years of my life, I'm trying to let go of all these things, which is really hard," she admits. "I'm also open about my eating disorder story. It's the second most deadly healthy psychiatric crisis in the country next to opioids. It's scary and wild, and I see it as an opportunity to be able to talk to people."

Having the disorder "changes your whole scope on your life and your passions and dreams," Ell says. "It's important to talk about it because I lived in denial with it for so long. I had been living with an eating disorder for so long that it felt so normal, but it was so dark, heavy and painful. I developed it when I got raped when I was 13 years old, and I think that's what started it. Then me being an artist and being in entertainment, there were so many places for me to excuse my disorder."

Though Ell was "terrified" to release a different type of album, she's also excited "because I know I'm talking about things that I would have not been able to talk about when I was 17," she says. "I'm coming from a different place. I took me 35 years to write this project — I needed to go through everything that I've been through. Everything that I went through as a child, everything that I've been through in the past few years, living in Nashville, and now I've gotten to a place where I could write this project. It's been two years in the making, but also 35 years in the making. I couldn't be more proud of it."

"There's a song called 'The Hard Way,' and it's about how my path as an artist hasn't been a straight line," she notes. "When I first moved to Nashville, I felt like a lot of my peers got off and running much faster than I did. I was like, 'Did I miss the memo on how this works?' But when I look back on my path and journey, I wouldn't change a single thing because it made me more resilient. It's made me have a depth of gratitude that I never would have been able to feel had I not been along this road. Most importantly, I'm getting to make music that I am excited about it and is real. I'm so grateful."

"But the 'Story I Tell Myself' is so pivotal to this whole project," she adds. "And just questioning the things that we tell ourselves that are true. I feel that stories are so important to our life. Stories have so much power, and we lift up the right stories and the true stories. It's crazy how many untrue stories we tell ourselves that can change your life."

Ell isn't quite sure is the project is more pop or rock, but she says she's "all of those elements."

"I have been since I was a little girl," she says. "I will always have my country roots as a songwriter growing up in Calgary and living in Nashville and that being my community. I love pop music, and I play electric guitar. I'm playing lead guitar for Shania Twain this year! Rock is in my blood. This project is a simulation of all those things. It's country songwriting with a pop sensibility with rock guitar."

"I don't think fans are listening to just one genre. I've tried to take away all the rules I used to censor myself with," she continues. "Let's just talk about the real me. If that ends up on a country playlist or a pop playlist, I'm just making music that feels real."

For years, Ell had so many people tell her she wasn't "country enough," but knows that's not true. "I still have my country roots — and I always will. I am just growing and evolving into a whole bunch of things," she says.

"It feels amazing to have a team who wants to lift me up and empower me," she adds. "I want to be able to build my platform so I can also lift up other female artists. I want to be able to build my platform so I can also help women and kids all over the world. I started the Make You Movement Fund years ago to help disenfranchised youth and survivors who were raped like me. I'm hoping I can write music that can connect with a lot of humans."

To listen to Ell's music, click here.