EXCLUSIVE'Selling Sunset' Star Mary Bonnet Admits Writing Her New Memoir Was 'Therapeutic': 'It Was Healing to See How Much I've Overcome'
Mary Bonnet exclusively tells OK! about writing her new memoir, which releases on September 24.
Sept. 16 2024, Published 9:40 a.m. ET
Mary Bonnet is telling all about her life in her new memoir, Selling Sunshine: Surviving Teenage Motherhood, Thriving in Luxury Real Estate, and Finally Finding My Voice, which comes out on Tuesday, September 24, and she's not holding back.
"It was therapeutic — but not every part of it was in the beginning. It was really, really difficult sometimes where I would have to cancel any sort of on-camera things for the rest of the day because I'd be crying, but now I can look back on it, and I can talk about certain things. It was healing to see how much I've overcome and I'm so proud to be able to get this out there and use my platform for good," the 44-year-old Selling Sunset star exclusively tells OK!.
Mary Bonnet's book comes out on September 24.
The blonde beauty, who is married to Romain Bonnet, can't pinpoint the "exact moment" she felt inclined to write the tome, but after going through a "bunch of different things" on the Netflix show, which focuses on L.A. agents' lives as they try to sell luxurious homes, she felt it was the right time to put pen to paper. "I would talk about my journey with embryo freezing, and every time I would get positive responses from people where they would say it helped them or it got them through something, I started realizing that my platform could be a positive place where it didn't just have to be about cat fights on the show," Mary, who has discussed embryo freezing and fertility treatments in the past, says.
"It made me realize there's a lot of negative situations that people go through and that mine can help other people if I share it," she adds.
In Mary's new memoir, which touches upon becoming a mother at 16 years old and toxic relationships, she opened up about being sexually assaulted by an acquaintance named "Joe."
"My parents didn't even know, so I had to go to them before and tell them, so that was hard," she admits. "I had to go through quite a bit of therapy. I would have to talk to my therapist about different scenes because it was hard to process. I knew I wanted to talk about it, but it was hard to actually get through it. I had to make sure it didn't do anything to me mentally where it would set me back. EDMR [eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy] was very helpful to me and some people don't know about it, but for people who have been through trauma, it's a great resource."
The blonde beauty has been on 'Selling Sunset' since the beginning.
While thinking about her past, Mary says there were a lot of moments where she "forgot things completely."
"It would be shocking to me where I actually didn't know the timeline of my life," she shares. "I would try to think back on things, and I'm like, 'I think that happened before this.' I was like, 'Oh, wait, no that was 10 years before that.' I had to map things out because I got so confused. That was important for me to understand."
Additionally, Mary "still can't make it through" the letter she wrote to herself without crying. "It means so much to me, and I'm so proud of myself. You don't normally think you're proud of yourself on a daily basis. You're like, 'I still need to do this,' but reading it reminds me you don't know why things happen when they happen. For instance, I'm very sensitive to being judged because I was judged so much when I was 15 and pregnant. But looking back on it, I would have never made it through and be where I am now. I still hate being judged, but I have thick skin now because of what I went through at that age. I can handle things."
"By reading the book, people won't feel alone. It might be hard to see the possibilities and positives, but hopefully the book will give people of an idea of how to move forward and keep moving," she adds. "I didn't fall into this. I wasn't born in real estate. I've been through a lot, so wherever people are at, you have the potential to make it. You have to keep going forward and trying. That's what I'm most excited for people to learn."
Mary and Romain Bonnet married in 2018.
Prior to hitting it big in her real estate career, Mary never thought she'd be part of the fan-favorite series, which first premiered in 2019. "I thought about being very successful in real estate. I would watch the top agents and be like, 'I'm going to do this.' But being on TV was not something that ever dawned on me. Nothing scares me though, but I'm glad I'm on Selling Sunset. It's very unique," she says.
Despite being honest when writing the book, the real estate guru felt obligated to leave a couple of things out. "It involved other people that I care about, and even though it was about something very big in my life and something life-changing, I kept out anything meaningful that would hurt or embarrass somebody I love," she notes, adding that her husband and parents have yet to read the book.
"My son knows about the book, and I told him he can read it. I wouldn't do anything that was going to make him mad or embarrass him," she adds.
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Mary Bonnet wants to stay on the show as long as possible.
The mom-of-one and Romain have been longing to have a child together, but unfortunately, she suffered a septic miscarriage in March 2023. She's also gone through several rounds of IVF. "I have chosen to focus more on raising awareness for it and helping other people," she says of mentioning it all in her book. "What happened to me could have been easily prevented, and it could have fixed. The condition could have been prevented, which means I wouldn't have gone through so many miscarriages. I would have been able to freeze my eggs or conceive naturally, so I want to make sure I'm spending this time helping other people go through the same thing," Mary, who had surgery on her uterus earlier this year, says.
"It's really cool to have a voice. I'm able to talk and connect with people on another level. One woman in her mid-eighties came up to me and almost started crying. She was like, 'Thank you for what you are doing to help women and please keep doing it.' It just warms my heart so much to hear things like that. Husbands will also come up to me and say, 'You helped my wife so much. She had a miscarriage and couldn't get out of bed, and you've kept her motivated.' It's super, super cool," she adds.
In the meantime, Mary is back on the small screen, as Season 8 of Selling Sunset premiered on September 6. "I'm excited for people to see it, and I think it's our best season yet," she states. "Big deals, big drama, big deals! I think it's probably our best season yet in terms of real estate deals. There's also a lot of drama and unexpected stuff happening. It was hard for me to watch because Jason [Oppenheim] and I lost our dog. We went and got tattoos so our dog [Niko] is always with us. Jason is a huge support system; we support each other a lot."
Mary adds that she's actually friends with most of her exes, including Jason. "I talk about a few of them in the book — and most of them I'm cool with," she says.
As for whether a second book is in the cards, she says, "I would consider it! It was a long process and hard to do, but it's very rewarding. It was a really cool experience."
The book releases on September 24.
Ultimately, Mary's hopeful her book encourages others to shoot for the stars. "Put one foot in front of the other and keep doing it! You can always change your mind and don't be scared. Keep trying, keep moving forward. You don't know unless you try! A lot of people hold themselves back because they're afraid to try and fail, but failure is just a chance to learn," she explains. "You never hear anybody that's super, super, successful fail. You don't know how they got there, so fail!"
"If the show or book resonates with people and gives them hope or motivation, then that's amazing," she concludes.
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If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
Mary's book Selling Sunshine: Surviving Teenage Motherhood, Thriving in Luxury Real Estate, and Finally Finding My Voice will be released on Tuesday, September 24.
