Valerie Bertinelli Believes Her Childhood Experiences Led to 'Horrible, Toxic' Marriage With Ex Tom Vitale: 'I Can't Just Blame Him'

Drew Barrymore and Valerie Bertinelli bonded over their childhood stardom when the Food Network personality appeared on the Monday, April 15, episode of the former's talk show.

Bertinelli entered showbiz in the '70s, nabbing a leading role in the sitcom One Day at a Time — a gig she she started when she was just a young teen.

"The business can really mess with a child's head. I'm going back to the childhood stuff and working on that," the mom-of-one, 63, explained.

The chef noted that as she reflected on her experiences from decades ago, she realized those issues were still taking a toll on her life today.

"I can't just blame my ex-husband for a toxic, horrible marriage. It's not his fault," she noted of her messy romance with Tom Vitale, with whom she finalized her divorce from in 2022. "What led me to that? Oh, childhood! That's the stuff I got to start working on."

Barrymore, 49, chimed in to note, "We call it the shadow work ... to go back ... we're a constant work in progress."

"I've found that when my gratitude is really placed in even the challenging, hard times, that's when the growth really happens," Bertinelli shared.

On a lighter note, Bertinelli also dished on her new romance — though she's still refusing to reveal his identity!

"He was not supposed to come into my life and here he is," she quipped, noting that after two divorces — she was also married to Eddie Van Halen — she had sworn off dating.

"He's amazing. He would like to think he's complicated and brooding, but he's thoughtful and kind and ridiculously talented," she gushed. "He's an amazing writer. He's gorgeous, like, so hot. He does it for me."

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"I actually started following him on Twitter back in 2016 or 17. He has a really amazing Twitter following. He's very funny, very acerbic, and political at that time," spilled the cookbook author. "And then he started DMing me once in a while, and then started following my Instagram account."

Bertinelli said they would only chat here and there at first, claiming her man "didn't want to get involved" with anyone romantically either.

Bertinelli and Vitale married in 2011, and upon her filing for divorce, he requested spousal support despite their prenup. She said their relationship caused her to develop "trust issues" and called the day the split was finalized the "second best day of my life."

On the other hand, she and Van Halen were able to mend ties and stay friends as they co-parented their son, Wolfgang, 33. In 2020, the musician died from cancer.