Disney Star Karan Brar Was on a 'Downward Spiral' After Death of Pal Cameron Boyce in 2019, Got Drunk Every Night in Order to Cope

Former Jessie star Karan Brar is opening up about coming out and dealing with alcohol abuse and depression.

In an essay published on Thursday, November 30, the child actor recalled the moment where he first revealed he was bisexual to his inner circle.

The first people he shared his truth with were best friends and roommates Sophie Reynolds and the late Cameron Boyce. Brar described that he let the news slip when he was drunk and vomiting in the toilet at the trio’s place.

“The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted it. I could barely see straight, but I ended up trying to do some damage control anyway,” he confessed. “The best thing I could think of came stumbling out of my mouth: ‘If you guys want me to move out I can. Just give me two weeks to figure it out...’”

The celeb’s sentence was cut off by hugs from his two confidants, who assured him his sexuality did not change the way they felt about him.

“They were both shocked when I came out, not because of my sexual identity, but because I genuinely thought they would want nothing to do with me after I told them. Today I can understand how absurd that was — Soph and Cam had been my best friends for years and loved me every step of the way. Why in the world would they stop then?” he explained.

However, Brar's life took a turn in 2019 when Boyce sadly passed away from a seizure at age 20. Brar shared that to deal with the grief, he turned to alcohol.

“I’d been on a downward spiral since Cameron suddenly died, and with the pandemic putting the world on pause, I was forced to sit with myself,” he wrote. “I refused to acknowledge how much pain I was in and isolated myself in a deeply unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Almost every night was spent getting drunk by myself in order to cope.”

By 2020, Brar realized he needed to get treatment following suicidal ideation, so he admitted himself into a facility for depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.

“I’d spent years trying to fastidiously maintain a public facade, and yet there I was, fulfilling the Disney star rehab prophecy I had been adamant on avoiding. I was flooded with a sense of failure, but there was no turning back now,” he confessed.

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The Disney Channel alum was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder, however, he explained he does not think he fits the criteria for PTSD anymore.

Brar added that with the help of medication, he is no longer “drowning in grief” following the loss of his pal, and he doesn't have any suicidal thoughts.

Teen Vogue published the essay by Brar.