Holly Madison Admits Talking About 'Playboy' Reawakens 'The Trauma'

Though she is putting on a brave face while recounting her time at the Playboy mansion, Holly Madison has made it clear that it is far from easy to talk about her past experience.

“It is very healing, but every time I talk about it, it is kind of, like, reawakening the trauma a little bit,” the model candidly told a news outlet about the traumatic effects living at the mansion had on her. “So I’m kind of careful about when I talk and in what context.”

Madison, who dated Playboy founder Hugh Hefner from 2001 to 2008, has been very conscious when choosing to discuss her history with the infamous magazine and editor-in-chief — who died in 2017 at 91.

HOLLY MADISON TALKS SCANDAL IN 'PLAYBOY MURDERS' TRAILER: 'THESE HORRIBLE THINGS COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE'

Noting, “I talked about it recently when Bridget [Marquardt] and I started our podcast [‘Girls Next Level’] late last year, and I talked about it in [the A&E miniseries] Secrets of Playboy last year as well,” Madison, 43, explained why she chooses to talk about such a sensitive topic in public.

"I didn’t really want to, but I knew that so many other women were coming forward with their stories," she confessed to the outlet. "I wanted to be supportive of that because I know what it feels like to be one person coming out and with nobody supporting you. That was important to me."

While recalling her interview for Secrets of Playboy, which aired in 2022, where she was questioned about "all the intimate and horrible moments of seven years of [her] life," Madison admitted, "It wasn’t a fun interview to do, but I felt like it was necessary."

Madison previously claimed there was a "cult-like" atmosphere at the Playboy mansion and that she had to have group sex with Hefner twice a week. The former Girls Next Store star also accused her ex of pitting the women against each other with his manipulation tactics, as OK! reported.

"You’re literally sitting there naked having sex in front of a group of people who hate you and talk s**t about you while you’re having sex — and you can hear it," she admitted on her and ex-playmate Marquardt's podcast last year. "It was just like hell."

Madison isn't done exposing the famed magazine, as her next project, The Playboy Murders, looks into those who were killed after their paths crossed with Playboy.

TIME TO PLAY! HOLLY MADISON'S MOST SEDUCTIVE & SEXY PHOTOS

"I thought I knew everything about Playboy history and everything that happened to every playmate, but I’d never heard of these," Madison, who hosts and executive produces the six-episode anthology series, said of the six cases connected to the magazine.

The Playboy Murders premieres on ID Monday, January 23, at 10 p.m. ET.

Us Weekly spoke to Madison about her trauma recounting her life at the mansion.