"I was at my boyfriend's house, and I was s**t faced on his couch eating pizza, and he looked over at me and I felt the way he looked at me," Osbourne told the show's hosts, Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Norris on Wednesday, June 2. "And I was like, 'Oh no, I never want him to look at me like that again. Ever.'" (Though she didn't mention him by name, the Fashion Police alum has been linked to Erik Bragg.)
The 36-year-old revealed that she's a "closet drinker," and doesn't like to drink around other people. As such, her boyfriend was "disappointed" because he had never seen that side of her before. "So to suddenly be like well, 'This is the side I never wanted you to see. You've seen it. Let's hope you never meet her again,'" she explained, "It was embarrassing because for the first time ever, I actually care how he feels and I care how my behavior impacts him."
Osbourne also revealed that she had "made it all the way through the pandemic" before she spotted a woman and her husband drinking champagne poolside. "It looked really nice and I was like, ‘I can do that, too,'" she explained. "And then the next day, I had two glasses, and then the day after that it was bottles."
The TV personality explained that she believed she could drink "like a normal person." "My drug of choice is alcohol. I love it. And I don't love it because I like the way it makes me feel — I like that it makes me not feel," she said.
"I want to be numb to everything, and at first I was like, 'Oh, I'm fixed, because I don't actually want to be numb right now," she added. "I just want to celebrate, because I'm doing amazing."
According to the former reality star, alcohol was always present in Osbourne's life because she "came from an alcoholic family," and referred to her father — Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne — as "probably the heaviest drinker I've seen in my life."
In April, Osbourne revealed in a video on Instagram Story that she had relapsed after four years of sobriety — but at the time, she hadn't even told her family yet. "I have to hold myself accountable for every single thing I do, and I think that's why it was so important to me that I just came right out and said it," she explained. "I knew that if I didn't, I could have flown under the radar like that for a long time, and no one would have known."
Osbourne's struggles began after she moved to Los Angeles from England when she was 13 and had difficulty fitting in. After she had surgery for tonsillitis, she was prescribed Vicodin. "I went from having every voice in my head being like: 'You're fat! You're ugly! You're not good enough! No one likes you!' ... All of a sudden, every single voice was silenced. And it felt like life gave me a hug," she explained, adding the substance numbed her insecurities — and led to her using Percocet and heroin.
During her appearance on Red Table Talk, Osbourne confessed the incident with her boyfriend served as inspiration for her to get back on track. "I only want to be the best version of myself, for my family and my boyfriend and my friends and I was not. I was the furthest thing away from that," she continued. "I've never had a boyfriend who's supportive of me in that area before, and he is very communicative and incredible in that way, so it's really nice — and my parents like him so that's also a positive."