'I Was Struggling': Nicole Kidman Admits She Was Going Through an 'Emotional Time' After Tom Cruise Divorce

Nicole Kidman made a rare statement about how profoundly her split from Tom Cruise affected her.

In the upcoming book 50 Oscar Nights by Dave Karger, the Moulin Rouge actress, 56, opened up about her huge Academy Awards win in 2003 for her role in The Hours. However, the night was not the fantasy most people think of, as she had just divorced the Top Gun star, 61, after 11 years of marriage, emphasizing what an "emotional time" it was for her.

"I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well," Kidman admitted. "That’s what happens, right?"

The Big Little Lies actress recalled her "overwhelmed experience" at the infamous Vanity Fair Oscar party. However, she cut the night short. "I sat on the floor of the hotel eating French fries and a burger with my family and went to bed," she explained.

"That’s when it hit me. I went, I need to find my love; I need a love in my life. Because this is supposed to be when you go, 'This is ours,'" Kidman sadly continued. "I went to bed alone; I was in bed before midnight. If I ever won again, I’m telling you, I’d be out for 24 hours."

The Expats star and Cruise, who share adopted children Isabella, 31, and Connor, 28, divorced in 2001 after first meeting on the set of Days of Thunder in 1990.

"Our life together was perfect. It took me a very long time to heal. It was a shock to my system. That was a great relationship," Kidman recalled in a 2016 interview. "I think it ran its course. I was really damaged and not sure whether [love and marriage] was ever going to happen again to me."

Lucky for the blonde beauty, it did! Kidman wed country star Keith Urban in June 2006. The Hollywood couple share daughters Sunday Rose, born in 2008, and Faith Margaret, born in 2010.

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“Falling in love with Keith changed everything for Nicole,” a source said of the couple's love story. "Keith is her soulmate, and she fully believes that her life with him and the family they built was her ultimate destiny and that he saved her. Even today, she says they’re more in love than ever."

"She was angry for many years, but now she looks back with fondness, and she genuinely wishes Tom nothing but the best,” the insider added. "She has no hard feelings towards him anymore — she feels like things worked out exactly as they were meant to."

Life & Style obtained the passage from 50 Oscar Nights.