Paulina Porizkova Reveals Why She Broke Down on the 5-Year Anniversary of Late Husband Ric Ocasek's Death: 'I Thought I Had to Act Strong'
Paulina Porizkova revealed that she was finally able to fully grieve her late husband, Ric Ocasek.
On Monday, September 23, the 59-year-old supermodel took to Instagram to explain why she had shared a video of herself crying five years after the Cars frontman’s passing.
“Last week, I posted a video of myself crying. It was the fifth anniversary of my husband’s death,” the blonde beauty began.
“In some ways, it was a day made even more difficult by the fact in all the previous years, I pretended I was fine. That I ‘had pulled it together.’ For the benefit of my loved ones, I thought I had to act strong. To keep helming the ship. So no one but me would be afraid of drowning,” she confessed.
Ocasek — who Porizkova married in 1989 after meeting him in 1984 — died in 2019 from cardiovascular disease at age 75. Porizkova continued, “The result of which, as I mentioned, was that everyone around me thought I was fine, and no one knew how hard my life was or how much I needed a hand. So, five years later, I let everyone know how I felt. I was sad. I was overwhelmed. Sentimental.”
“And by admitting it out loud, I’ve had many other people reach out to let me know they had similar days. That five years after their loved one’s passing was unusually difficult. That all of us in the grief club can have odd days of real struggle. And I made them feel better and less alone. And it goes without saying, they made me feel better and less alone. Thank you, friends, both IRL and IG. I need you as much as ever. ❤️,” the star, who has since started dating Jeff Greenstein, said.
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The emotional upload came after Porizkova shamelessly uploaded a clip of herself with tears rolling down her face on September 15. Alongside the footage, the mother-of-two penned a message similarly expressing how she broke down because she had been trying to hold in all her sadness for many years.
“Here’s the thing. When you ‘pull yourself up by the bootstraps,’ ‘make lemonade from lemons’ and see ‘the silver lining behind every cloud’ — you make it all look easy. You make it look like no one has to worry about you, you’ve got it!” she said.
“I did exactly that following my husband’s death. In the year following, I put on a brave face for my children and loved ones. And the result was — No one seemed to understand how much I was hurting. How hard it all was. That I was breaking,” she noted.
Despite Porizkova and Ocasek deciding to separate in 2018 after nearly 30 years of marriage, his death still greatly affected her.
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In the post, the bombshell admitted her “loneliness” was at an all-time high, prompting her to “go online to find someone to hear me.”
“Yes, I understand how pathetic that sounds. I also understand it was my fault. So today, I’m not just crying online.😁,” she concluded.