In the second episode of the five-part docuseries The Me You Can't See, co-created by Harry and Oprah, the red-headed prince recalled when the Duchess of Sussex told him that she was contemplating taking her own life before the couple was scheduled to attend a charity event at the Royal Albert Hall in London.
"The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me after everything that had happened to my mum and to now be put in a position of losing another woman in my life, with a baby inside of her, our baby [Archie]," Harry said, having lost his mother, Princess Diana, in a fatal car crash in Paris when he was only 12.
"The scariest thing for her was her clarity of thought. She hadn’t 'lost it.' She wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol. She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane. Yet in the quiet of night, these thoughts woke her up," he recalled.
Harry admitted that he was "ashamed" of how he dealt with Meghan's confession because they had a "quick" cuddle before they had to get dressed and attend the event and "then step out into a wall of cameras and pretend as though everything’s OK."
"There wasn’t an option to say, 'You know what? Tonight we’re not going to go.' Because just imagine the stories that come from that," he explained.
"While my wife and I were in those chairs, gripping each other’s hand, the moment the lights go down, Meghan starts crying. I’m feeling sorry for her, but I’m also really angry with myself that we’re stuck in this situation," Harry recalled.
"I was ashamed that it got this bad. I was ashamed to go to my family. Because to be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age could probably relate to, I know that I’m not gonna get from my family what I need.
"I thought my family would help, but every single ask, request, warning, whatever, it just got met with total silence, total neglect. We spent four years trying to make it work. We did everything that we possibly could to stay there and carry on doing the role and doing the job. But Meghan was struggling," Harry said.
Earlier this year, Markle explained to Oprah that she "didn't see a solution" when it came to royal life. "It’s almost worse when you feel it through the expression of my mom or friends. Like, 'Meg, they’re not protecting you,'" the Duchess said at the time.
"Look, I was really ashamed to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry, especially, because I knew how much loss he suffered. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore, and that was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought. And I remember how he just cradled me," she said of the moment she told Harry how she was feeling.
Meghan said that she went to the "institution" to ask for help but was told that "it wouldn’t be good for the institution."