Holly Madison Admits Hugh Hefner Made 'Me Feel Like I Wasn't Pretty Enough'

From the outside looking in, it seemed like Holly Madison was having a ball while living in the Playboy Mansion — but that couldn't be further from the truth.

"I would definitely say that living in the mansion created a body dysmorphia for me because I was always kind of wondering what's wrong with me," she explained in a new interview, noting she always compared herself to the other Playboy models.

Those thoughts didn't just pop into her head on her own, as she admitted that late ex Hugh Hefner made her self-conscious.

"[Hugh] had a way of making me feel like I wasn't pretty enough, and I would look around to everybody else and constantly be wondering, what's so different about them and why are they so much better?" the mom-of-two, 43, recalled. "It was constantly like, what can I do? What can I change? How can I look better?"

Madison also acknowledged that embodying the typical Playboy model appearance was her idea, which is one of the reasons she went under the knife.

“When I look at what the typical Playboy bunny looks like with the blonde hair and big b----, I always wanted to look like that. That was just something I would see and it would resonate with me, and it wasn't to impress any certain person," she spilled. "I just wanted to look like that, and that's what attracted me to the Playboy brand in the first place.”

The star didn't undergo that many procedures despite her self-doubt — something she's thankful for.

“I could be looking like a plastic surgery nightmare right now!" the Down the Rabbit Hole author confessed. "Because it was just constantly me wondering, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?”

The blonde beauty has been open about the dark side of the adult brand, admitting Hefner — who died in 2017 — often stirred the pot behind closed doors.

"There was this odd idea that I think a lot of people had back then that Hef was this helpless old man who was just looking for love and anybody involved with him was coming in and taking advantage," she spilled in a separate interview. "Which wasn’t really the case when I was there."

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"Right before I left, I just realized how much he was pitting us against each other. Which was really hurtful to me because I’d always approached the relationship as trying to do the best I could," the Girls Next Door alum shared of trying to befriend fellow models. "So knowing that he was doing those kinds of maneuverings behind my back was really hurtful. I mean it was definitely him. It’s a lot of manipulation."

People spoke to Madison.