American Beauty actress Mena Suvari is expecting her first child at the age of 41 — a pregnancy that came as a surprise — and it’s a baby boy!

The little one, whose dad is Suvari’s husband Michael Hope, is due next spring. Although the couple, who were married in 2018, had been trying to conceive for some time, Suvari tells PEOPLE it was a bit of a shock to get the news she is actually going to be a mom.

“It’s still this process for me of believing it and accepting that something this beautiful could happen for me,” she said. “It’s been a very emotional experience. It’s very weird finding out — I was like, I can’t believe it!”

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Suvari described the disappointment that she experienced during her fertility journey. Like many women, she found getting pregnant wasn’t as easy as she expected it would be, and the process dragged on discouragingly for months. “You expect that it’ll happen and it didn’t. I got to this place where I felt overwhelmed and stressed out,” she said.

Also, her age was a concern: “I’m 41 and there’s this air of like, I’ve got one foot in the grave and good luck.”

After deciding to take a step back, stop obsessing, and let fate take its course, Suvari returned to work. While traveling to film on location, she started noticing strange symptoms before deciding to finally test once more. It was then she realized she was pregnant. In her second trimester, she is currently craving fruit and Indian food and is planning on a home birth when the time comes.

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“I’m still falling into that place and just feeling so honored that he came to us,” Suvari told the outlet of her son, whom she and Hope have decided to name after one of his grandfathers. “It’s all I ever wanted for years. Even before I met my husband, I always wanted a little boy and it just feels so beautiful and special.”

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