Kendall Toole Feels Like a 'Weight' Has Been Lifted After Being Open About Her Mental Health Struggles: 'I Was Tired of Hiding'

Kendall Toole, who left Peloton after five years earlier this year, has always been an open book when it comes to her struggles with mental health.

When the fitness guru, 31, decided to talk about her battle with depression and OCD diagnosis, she knew it was the right thing to do.

"I felt that I was giving into this image of who people thought I was. I understand it. If I walked into a space and saw me — this bubbly, blonde chick from California, I would be irritated with looking at myself. I think what's important is that I was allowing that to be my identity because I wasn't sharing the truth," Toole, who is a lululemon and NAMI Ambassador, exclusively told OK! on Wednesday, October 9, ahead of a play-inspired workout at lululemon in honor of World Mental Health Day. "In the beginning, it was very nerve-wracking, but I feel so reinforced and grateful for the community. It feels like this weight I was carrying for so long is off my shoulders and it can actually be helpful to others now."

"Not sharing the truth became more of a burden than being honest about it," she continued. "I knew if I had a platform and had all of these people listening to me all the time, I was like, 'Well, what's the point of having if if I'm not being honest about it and it's not helping anybody else?' I grew up in Los Angeles, and sometimes it felt very fake. I felt like I was doing it for self-validation rather than service. I was tired of hiding. I was tired of pretending I was that girl because I'm not."

As a result, Toole, who was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in college, doesn't shy away from talking about the tough topics — whether with her followers or in real life.

"It was always floors me, and in a weird way, I still struggle with [hearing kind words]. I think it's important to share the more vulnerable sides of ourselves because that's where true connection comes from," she shared. "That's what humanity really needs right now — not this perfect image of what we think the world should be. Whenever I hear someone share their story, they feel safe because I shared mine. It's just an aha moment. It's so reinforcing. It's why we're here. We're not here to hide these things. I always feel so moved by others."

Since Toole is all about connecting with others, she applauds the next generation for trying to put down their phones and not be overstimulated by social media and screens. "There's this shift happening, and I'm excited about it. Gen Z is like, 'I don't want to bring my phone. I want an analog camera.' I think we're seeing this shift backwards like into what my early childhood was like before social media," she noted. "We're meant to have deep conversations and talk to each other face to face."

Clearly, Toole is so passionate about mental health, which is why it made sense for her to attend lululemon's October 9 event in New York City on World Mental Health Day.

"When we chose to partner together in the beginning, I was like, 'My number one thing is talking about mental health.' It's an incredible moment to just expose what so many of us go through. We finally had more awareness to it in large part because of the pandemic," she explained. "After a few months of working together, we started talking about this day and what they were doing for it and how we were going to activate. I was overjoyed with how it turned out. It's important to talk about these kind of unspeakable things and de-stigmatize them."

"It's not so taboo anymore. Now the question is what do we do next? I think there's a huge gap between understanding and acknowledging what we go through with mental health and what are the action steps we take, which is why this day of play and giving people a few tools — from breathing techniques to gratitude techniques — is so important," she continued, referring to how the morning class at the 5th Avenue flagship store featured all-day play inspired wellbeing programming — a slide, mini trampolines and more — to show that you don't have to be a kid to have fun and move your body.

Toole is constantly "evolving" when it comes to her mental health and knows that every day is a work in progress. "I go through periods where I feel really strong and resilient, but there's a lot of tough days. Sometimes movement doesn't look like an intense workout. I love my gratitude journaling. I do it every single morning without fail. For me, cooking has always been a love language for myself. I like to find recipes and be creative. It's a mix between fueling my body and moving my body and honoring the tools and tricks I can do for my brain to make things a little bit easier."

Now that Toole is entering this new chapter in her life post-Peloton, she's thrilled for what's to come.

"There's so much work going on behind the scenes," she gushed. "I'm launching my own NKO fund. It stands for Never Knocked Out, and those are the words I would close my classes with. I've closed with them since my first day teaching fitness and those were my dad's words that got me through the toughest chapter. We're raising funds and we're going to provide grants in different areas of mental health. Our goal is to create a scholarship for BIPOC students so we can help get representation in mental health fields and communities that don't traditionally have these conversations."

As for teaching, Toole will be launching something in the summer of 2025. "It will incorporate fitness, mental health and technology and this community in a really cool way," she teased. "The goal is to create a community where it's not just about hitting certain numbers or personal records. It's about mental health as well."