![OK Logo](https://okmagazine.com/ok_logo_black_small.png)
'Sister Wives' Star Kody Brown Admits He'd 'Almost Be Too Embarrassed to Show' His Face in Church After Failed Marriages
![sister wives kody brownpp](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/tWBw5vr4W/480x251/sister-wives-kody-brownpp-1698711195698.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/tWBw5vr4W/640x335/sister-wives-kody-brownpp-1698711195698.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/tWBw5vr4W/768x402/sister-wives-kody-brownpp-1698711195698.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/tWBw5vr4W/1024x536/sister-wives-kody-brownpp-1698711195698.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/tWBw5vr4W/1280x670/sister-wives-kody-brownpp-1698711195698.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/tWBw5vr4W/1440x753/sister-wives-kody-brownpp-1698711195698.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/tWBw5vr4W/1600x837/sister-wives-kody-brownpp-1698711195698.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/tWBw5vr4W/2160x1130/sister-wives-kody-brownpp-1698711195698.jpg 2160w)
Kody Brown is a self-proclaimed "man of faith" — but the father-of-18 would be hesitant to go back to church after his respective splits from former spouses Christine, 51, Janelle, 54, and Meri, 52.
In the Sunday, October 29, episode of Sister Wives, the Brown family patriarch admitted he felt like he was in a state of "limbo" after spending so much time without religious ties to their community.
![sister wives kody brown embarrassed go church failed marriages](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/VYR3QgoQg/480x307/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages2-1698710568806.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/VYR3QgoQg/640x409/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages2-1698710568806.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/VYR3QgoQg/768x490/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages2-1698710568806.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/VYR3QgoQg/1024x653/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages2-1698710568806.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/VYR3QgoQg/1280x817/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages2-1698710568806.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/VYR3QgoQg/1440x919/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages2-1698710568806.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/VYR3QgoQg/1600x1021/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages2-1698710568806.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/VYR3QgoQg/2160x1378/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages2-1698710568806.jpg 2160w)
Kody used to be a member of a fundamentalist sect of Mormonism called the Apostolic United Brethren.
"You know, if I was in Utah, I'd almost be too embarrassed to show my head at church because of the just the struggles my family has had," he explained in a confessional. "Lots of shame."
"So, we don't have church here in Flagstaff either," he added. "We haven't established any connection religiously in Flagstaff."
![sister wives kody brown embarrassed go church failed marriages](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/rFk4dMZWI/480x307/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-1698710568879.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/rFk4dMZWI/640x409/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-1698710568879.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/rFk4dMZWI/768x490/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-1698710568879.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/rFk4dMZWI/1024x653/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-1698710568879.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/rFk4dMZWI/1280x817/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-1698710568879.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/rFk4dMZWI/1440x919/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-1698710568879.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/rFk4dMZWI/1600x1021/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-1698710568879.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/rFk4dMZWI/2160x1378/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-1698710568879.jpg 2160w)
Kody Brown said he would be 'embarrassed' to return to a church in Utah after his splits.
He also confessed that despite his lifelong faith, he's "struggled for a long time" because he was a polygamist.
The Brown family was once a part of a fundamentalist sect of Mormonism called the Apostolic United Brethren. They later held their own Bible studies in their homes with just the family involved, rather than go to a more traditional church.
"I'm not a fit in my old religion," Kody added. "We're in, let me use a term, no pun intended, we're in limbo."
![sister wives kody brown embarrassed go church failed marriages](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/webwrfOEF/480x312/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-2-1698710621172.jpg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/webwrfOEF/640x416/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-2-1698710621172.jpg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/webwrfOEF/768x499/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-2-1698710621172.jpg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/webwrfOEF/1024x665/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-2-1698710621172.jpg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/webwrfOEF/1280x831/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-2-1698710621172.jpg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/webwrfOEF/1440x934/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-2-1698710621172.jpg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/webwrfOEF/1600x1038/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-2-1698710621172.jpg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/webwrfOEF/2160x1401/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages-2-1698710621172.jpg 2160w)
The Brown family used to hold their own private church services at their homes.
- Sister Wives' Kody Brown Thinks 'Every Day' About How He Could Have Saved Failed Marriages
- 'Sister Wives' Star Kody Brown Admits He 'Could Have Done a Lot Better' as a Husband Following 'Painful' Splits
- 'Sister Wives' Star Kody Brown Hints 'Things Have Happened' That 'Built His Confidence Back' After Recent Splits
Kody also opened up on his strained relationships with his former wives and some of his older children, wondering if their family would have been "more successful" if they'd all been in "different homes with the kids growing up like they were cousins."
"What has happened with our family is very sad to me," he continued. "It's just one of those things that's happened. I have to move on. But there is sort of this strange place that I'm in where it feels odd... I'm trying to redefine my life."
![sister wives kody brown embarrassed go church failed marriages](https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZfuMod8tt/480x307/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages3-1698710659146.jpeg 480w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZfuMod8tt/640x409/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages3-1698710659146.jpeg 640w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZfuMod8tt/768x490/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages3-1698710659146.jpeg 768w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZfuMod8tt/1024x653/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages3-1698710659146.jpeg 1024w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZfuMod8tt/1280x817/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages3-1698710659146.jpeg 1280w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZfuMod8tt/1440x919/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages3-1698710659146.jpeg 1440w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZfuMod8tt/1600x1021/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages3-1698710659146.jpeg 1600w, https://media.okmagazine.com/brand-img/ZfuMod8tt/2160x1378/sister-wives-kody-brown-embarrassed-go-church-failed-marriages3-1698710659146.jpeg 2160w)
Christine Brown was the first sister wife to announce she'd left Kody.
As OK! previously reported, Christine was the first sister wife to leave Kody. She announced she'd decided to end their relationship in November 2021.
Janelle confirmed she'd also separated from the 54-year-old in a Sister Wives: One on One special that aired in December 2022. Several weeks later, Kody and Meri released a joint statement in sharing that they'd permanently terminated their marriage.
Never miss a story — sign up for the OK! newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what OK! has to offer. It’s gossip too good to wait for!
Powered by RedCircle
Kody is currently only married to his fourth wife, Robyn, effectively making them monogamous.
"The rollercoaster was fun for a long time, even though it was challenging," he revealed of his former relationships in an interview published earlier this year. "We had a lot of challenges. It's just moved to a place where there's been a lot of heartbreak."
"I could have done a lot better," he said at the time. "Every day I think about a place where if I would've managed things differently, if I would've said something differently, we might have moved forward in a different way."