Brendan Morais 'Self-Sabotaged' His Romance With Tayshia Adams Before He Left

Honesty hour! Brendan Morais realized he wasn’t ready to get married just yet, so he eliminated himself and broke Tayshia Adams’ heart on the Monday, December 21, episode of The Bachelorette. Now, the reality star is getting candid about what went into his decision. 

“Finding Tayshia, as amazing and beautiful as she was and that connection was true and really there,” he told Rachel Lindsay and Becca Kufrin on their podcast, “Bachelor Happy Hour,” on Tuesday, December 22. “I was gonna take it day by day and as I moved farther along into the process, I tried to be as true to myself and not doing anything for any other reasons … any other outside factors.” 

However, the 30-year-old didn’t want to do anything to “hurt” the leading lady, 30. "I think the biggest takeaway for me was — I know I want a family, I know I want a wife and children, but knowing and being completely ready was something that I discovered — there was a little gap there," he explained. "There was a little gap that I need to close at some point and I need to figure that out for myself."

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The roofing contractor had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that he needed to leave the show. "I had this beautiful, amazing woman right in front of me and for some reason, that I still wrestle with today, I self-sabotaged the moment," he said. "I was protecting myself in a sense, you know, I was protecting myself from getting hurt and as corny as that is, as stupid as that sounds, I have been married before and I feel like it would be a disservice to Tayshia in a way if I went into an engagement and I got down on one knee and I wasn't completely, 100 percent all in and ready."  

At the end of the day, Morais insisted he was “genuine” and true to himself throughout the show. “And going into this crazy experience and journey I didn’t know what to expect and I didn’t know if this would work for me," he said. 

Following his dramatic and sad departure, Morais couldn’t help but get emotional about his journey to find love. “First and foremost grateful for the opportunity to have met the beautiful Tayshia. Having shared unforgettable moments together through this once in a lifetime experience is something I will cherish for the rest of my life,” he posted alongside a photo with the brunette babe on Instagram. 

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“Unfortunately, we didn’t have the fairytale ending. However, I leave this journey on my way to being a better man. I am certainly not perfect but I hope to learn and grow from every decision I make and every experience I am a part of,” he added. “Tayshia is a special woman who deserves every amazing thing life has to offer and I’m so thankful to have been a part of her journey. I wish her the very best and many blessings in life. I’m also grateful for the opportunity to have met all the incredible guys who were on this journey as well. I was fortunate enough to make lifelong friends through this experience and I’m also rooting for every one of them to find their own amazing love story and happiness.”

So, will Adams pick between Ivan Hall or Zac Clark? Or will she give Ben Smith — who returned at the end of Monday night's episode — another chance? Only time will tell!

The finale of The Bachelorette airs on ABC on Tuesday, December 22, at 8 p.m. ET.