Justin Bieber Admits He Was 'Suicidal' In New Documentary: 'I Was Just Suffering'
Bieber opens about about his relationship with Hailey and his personal struggles.
Honesty hour. Justin Bieber released his second YouTube special Justin Bieber: Next Chapter on Friday, October 30, and got really candid about how being a pop star at a young age took a toll on his life.
“When I was 15 … I was so surrounded, millions of people in the audience, but I still felt lonely. I still felt misunderstood. I still felt hurt,” the 26-year-old said in the video. “I just had no idea what was to come. I had no idea that this life would take me by storm. I had no idea that I would get sucked up by all of this.”
“There were so many people who were just so mean,” he added. “Random people saying like, ‘You suck! You look like a girl!’ I would shake it off and act like it didn’t bother me, but that stuff bothered me. And then it affected how I acted and how I treated other people, and it’s just this ongoing cycle of, like, hurt people, hurt people. I was just this young kid.”
Despite achieving success at a young age, Bieber was not in a good head space. “I think that there was times where I was really, really suicidal, like, really like, ‘Man, is this pain ever gonna go away?'” he admitted. “It was so consistent. The pain was so consistent. I was just suffering.”
The special followed the “Lonely” singer throughout the past eight months amid the COVID-19 pandemic.
The 25-minute video begins with flashes of prominent moments from Bieber’s life, including his wedding to Hailey Baldwin. When asked why Bieber decided to make this project, the “Stuck with U” singer responded: “People love a happy ending. People love to see people rise to the occasion. I just feel like, right now, it’s a really happy season.”
He expressed his desire to use this special to show people he’s really “just a human who’s just figuring it out” — just like everyone else. “There’s so much negativity in the world,” Baldwin, 23, said while the couple sat beside each other holding hands.
One producer said Bieber — who was the executive producer on the project — seems like his best self these days. When asked how he got there, the “Holy” singer responded: “There’s a lot more confidence in my relationships. Now, I just have hope in my relationship with God. That’s not based on fear. It’s not based on my past. It’s based on who I truly am.”
While noting divorce rates shot up in the past eight months, Bieber explained his relationship is thriving with the model. “It allowed us to take a step back and focus on each other,” Bieber confessed. “That was a beautiful thing.” He continued to explain Baldwin “really empowers me and enables me to feel.”
The special included behind-the-scenes videos from their special weekend with friends and family. The lovebirds — who secretly tied the knot at a New York City courthouse in 2018 — held a traditional wedding ceremony on September 30, 2019. “We continue to just show one another that you’re my priority. You continue to remind me I’m your priority,” Bieber said as his wife sat next to him.
He explained all the downtime amid lockdown eventually led to creating an album. The special also took viewers behind the scenes of the making of “Holy,” which features Chance The Rapper. While talking to Chance, Bieber expressed that he’s happy and healthy. “I’m the most fulfilled. I feel the most stable. I feel the most secure. I feel the most confident … I feel so at peace. For the first time in life, I don’t feel like I’m striving.”
Bieber said he wants “to make content that will inspire and make people happy. Real secure people add value to people, uplift people. Real secure people lead with love and humility. All the things that we all crave as individuals.”
The Billboard Music Awards winner reminded his viewers: “You are good enough. You don’t have to put on a front. Who you are is enough.”
From getting COVID-19 tests to snuggling up with his wife and playing hoops with his pals, the documentary takes viewers into Bieber’s world during this weird time. Bieber previously released the YouTube documentary series Justin Bieber: Seasons. The first episode — which garnered 32.5 million views in the first week — was released in the beginning of this year.
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